The worst nickname in the NBA

Michael “Air” Jordan.

“The Admiral” David Robinson.

“The Microwave” Vinnie Johnson

LaMarcus “L-Train” Aldridge

 

The NBA and its players have had a long history of nicknames. From Wilt the Stilt to the Black Mamba, nicknames are a great way to identify with a NBA player. For one Blazer player, however, his team-forced nickname is quite possibly the most unoriginal and worst nickname in NBA history.

LaMarcus Aldridge scored 25 points on Saturday night against the Warriors in front of 19,000-plus fans who showed up for a preseason game. And after each one of Aldridge’s baskets, the PA announcer would yell, “L-Train” instead of saying LaMarcus or Aldridge. Every single basket.

My friend attended a Blazers game for the first time on Saturday. He is a diehard NBA fan who just moved to Seattle. His first two observations after the game were A) what a great crowd and B) what is up with Aldridge’s terrible nickname. Not exactly the response that a team would want from a nickname.

By the end of the night, I had the realization that Aldridge’s nickname is the worst I’ve ever heard. In fact, we need to put an injunction on the “L-Train” nickname. It cannot be used ever again. It doesn’t matter if a new nickname is found, just get rid of it.

Good nicknames can be both truthful and rhyming such as Clyde the Glide or they can describe one’s nationality like the “Polish Hammer” Marcin Gortat. Not all players need nicknames. Rudy Fernandez, for one, doesn’t need one because his first name already makes for a great chant.

That being said LaMarcus needs a nickname. His other nickname, LA, is too simple and not descriptive. After thinking about it for 36 hours, I am still having trouble coming up with a good nickname. Here’s a list of some-

The Potent- I don’t care if this isn’t a common word and the fact I am using an adjective as a noun. Potent is the opposite of impotent and is fitting for Aldridge because all NBA writers ever say about Aldridge is he has great potential. I mean POTENTial.

The Fiddle- A long stringy instrument fits for Aldridge because he is long and is the second fiddle to Brandon Roy.

The Riser- Doesn’t make any sense except that the Blazers front office loves words based off rise, such as Rise with us or Rip City Uprise.

The Steel Bridge- Makes sense geographically, Aldridge has gotten ripped over the offseason and looks like he is made of steel, and this nickname rhymes with Aldridge.

As you can see, it is not easy to think of nicknames for Aldridge. That’s why tonight when we record the Sportsland Oregon podcast, Carlos, Derek, Cliff, and I will try to come up with a good nickname for Aldridge. Comment at the bottom of this blog with any suggestions.

 

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